the joy of being a little bit wrong
open tabs 15
https://www.welcome fashion folk! i am, unfortunately, someone who has spent an embarrassing amount of time trying to be right. forcing my triangle peg into square holes by any means necessary. and i’m not just talking about fashion, it’s leaked into all parts of my life. i’ve nodded along in conversations pretending i’ve seen the movie, laughed at the absurd notion that i wouldn’t know the difference between broiling and boiling, pretended i, too, am of course wearing camo cargos with flip flops this summer. i’ve been so afraid of being wrong that i’d lie before admitting i don’t know something, or that i hadn’t done the thing i thought i was supposed to be doing.
but what does right even mean? and why am i trying so hard to be it? and even more interestingly: why, lately, have i started craving the opposite? the joy of being a little bit wrong.
i don’t mean right in the literal sense (2+2 does equal 4). i mean right in the eyes of whoever you’ve decided is already at the destination you’re desperate to arrive at. that quiet aversion to imperfection, born from the fear that getting it wrong will somehow exile you from the in-group. when i’m talking about being right what i’m really talking about is fitting in. becoming the walking billboard for the current idea of taste, proportion, polish, or “what’s cool” in whatever world you’re living in.
that world, of course, changes from person to person. we could be talking about being right in the world of book romantics, where rather than admit you haven’t read joan didion’s the white album (or god forbid didn’t enjoy it), you’d rather lie and be right. that’s what makes this experience so universal. it’s not just happening in societally “cool” situations, it’s happening everywhere, because everyone’s barometer of what’s cool is completely different.
within the fashion world that i operate in, right is usually the outfit that looks good on pinterest or instagram. it’s posed in just the right way, interesting but not so much that it could be seen as weird. the person is wearing all the right brands, they have the right bag, the photo is taken in front of the right background. it’s safe, flattering, and above all, algorithmically approved. but right can also mean boring. it’s the absence of risk and originality.
wrong, on the other hand, is putting pink with green after everyone categorically decided they must never be seen together, it’s the marching band jacket with sweatpants, the skirt that’s comically large, the thing you wear because it makes you feel aligned with your personal style, even if it doesn’t make sense, even if it’s “wrong.”
i feel this with cinema too. sometimes, when i can’t sleep, i’ll role-play giving my letterboxd “four favourites,” and even in my imaginary scenario i lie to the fake interviewer, giving the options i think will make me seem cooler and right in the eyes of whoever i’m trying to impress. when, in reality, my four favourites are shrek 2, school of rock, she’s the man, and corpse bride. and i like arty, cool, edgy cinema too (i promise!!) it’s just that those films aren’t my favourites. and that’s okay.
“you’re not hardcore unless you live hardcore.”
— dewey finn, school of rock
i guess what’s really at the heart of this thing is fear, the fear of being cast aside or seen as less-than because, due to your lack of knowledge or wrong opinion, you’re somehow inherently flawed. i’ve always felt like i was on the back foot. i remember getting to university and feeling completely overwhelmed by not knowing any of the things everyone was talking about — any of the right things. coming from a small town, i didn’t know which brands were cool or uncool, but i did know all the words to suzanne vega’s marlene on the wall, and i had read the grapes of wrath, which were unbeknownst to me both pretty “cool” things. but rather than lead with the truth, i became an expert chameleon, faking my way through the interaction then running back to my room and googling everything there was to know about said topic. i’ve spent so much of my life trying to be what’s right and falling short every time, because what’s right for some doesn’t necessarily mean it’s right for me. and ironically, the constant chasing of whatever is right is robbing me of what actually makes me “cool” in the first place.
i think societally we are put into such confining boxes, not helped by the algorithm’s constant need to label groups of women via identifying pop-cultural images. claw clip + gilmore girls + picnic outside + matching pj set = A, and charli xcx + smoky eye + leopard print + martini = B. and god help you if you just so happen to be smoky eye + gilmore girls + martini + picnic outside = C. i’ve always felt slightly torn between worlds, constantly changing my style and habits to match whatever world i think i should inhabit, when in reality i am allowed to be in all worlds at once and so are you. i don’t know who needs to hear this, but you can love the grapes of wrath and also have your favourite movie be shrek 2.
so this is where i am at now: slightly addicted to being wrong. i feel a real freedom and joy there. every time i tell someone that no, i actually haven’t seen the wim wenders 1984 neo-western drama masterpiece paris texas, i feel as though i am giving a proverbial F U to the square holes and a big hug to my 19-year-old self. the other thing i’ve discovered — and lean in closer, reader, because this is huge — in being wrong i have actually become a better person. i am far more relatable, i’m more vulnerable, i learn more, i am humbled more, i’m a more rounded, more interesting person. the irony is killing me, truly, so please let me save you the torment. in your pursuit of being right you are actually becoming the opposite of what you’re chasing, so be lame! be silly! be dumb! be uncool! be yourself! be wrong.
and with that, another essay slightly bogged down in its own metaphor, cluttered with italics and things in quotations and wink wink nudge nudges comes to an end. make sure to return next week as we explore another open tab in my brain. mwah!
okay, we have now reached the portion of the essay where i pause my existential fashion ramblings, and together we go through my literal open tabs.
IZZYS OPEN TABS
SOEUR GALILEO CARDIGAN
i saw
KARLAIDLAW CIRCUS PANT
i have been obsessed with these pants for years. YEARS! they are so flattering and the lil slits below the waistband are everything. you feel as though you’re wearing sweatpants but in the most elevated way possible.
CHARLIE BEADS FRENCH BOXERS
i squealed when i saw these! the colour is stunning, the vintage high waisted cut with the pleats is everything, i love the styling with the bralette. honestly charlie beads can do no wrong in my eyes.
VINTAGE MISS CHLOE MOHAIR JACKET
i am currently obsessed with vintage chloé and buying jackets, and this miss chloé mohair jacket is just so stunning omg. this would be such a cute piece for autumn. like with a slouchy pair of jeans and ballet flats!!
LUCILA SAFDIE I LOVE YOU LEATHER GLOVES
these gloves are so dramatic and sexy and fun! i love a leather glove for autumn and these are just such a chic option. i love that they’re fingerless too.
VINTAGE WOOL COAT
i love this kind of high-drama, high-neck collar, especially on a coat. imagine having tendrils of hair spilling out the top while you shield your face from the cold wind. purrrfect.
c u next friday <3
izzy.opentabs.com